47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
