I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
