Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
