He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
