I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
