The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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