a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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