I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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