Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
