Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
