I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
