And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
