Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
