hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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