I don't think brook has ever known best
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
