he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize