Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
