How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
