You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just invented taco cereal.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
