seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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