thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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