Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
