i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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