He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
