so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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