She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i think my cat just said my name.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
