Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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