I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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