:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
