how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
