We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Randomize
