we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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