just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
