The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
