He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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