Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Randomize