Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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