Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
