I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
