But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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