Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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