Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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