how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
