By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
