that's an acceptable place to lick
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
