Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize