Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize