i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
