He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
