My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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