Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
