I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize