Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
