I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
