this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
