As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
