Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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