I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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