is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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