I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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