We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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