well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
