Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
