im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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