she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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