Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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