After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
