Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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