I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
