She said her name was "party"
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
