She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
