I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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