i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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