At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
