do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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