I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
