Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
